The Awake Party

Trudy

Last weekend, we celebrated our dear friend Trudy, who is courageously dealing with end-stage cancer. She wanted to have her party while she was still here to enjoy it. She wanted to see the people who mean a lot to her and, as she said, “hear the nice things they say about me.” 

Trudy’s garden and yard had to be immaculate, after all, she’s the president of the Bakersfield Green Thumb Garden Club. She worked hard to make it happen, hung in there on days when she didn’t feel up to par.  With Trudy’s eye and guidance, and partner Sylvia and sister Rebecca doing the heavy lifting and physically intensive jobs, the setting shone picture-perfect.

Sylvia, Rebecca, and Trudy

Trudy sent out the word, and we all came -- family members, lifelong pals, new friends, motorcycle buddies, and garden club friends. Some traveled from as far away as Arizona and Los Angeles, Aguanga, Littlerock, Sacramento, and Redding, California.  Folks from all over town where Trudy has become dear also showed up. The gals from the Speedway convenience store down the street and Joe from the Bulk Yard were on hand. 

An informal open house-style party, characterized by laughter and stories of Trudy and her antics brought us all together. Ever gracious, though tiring as the day progressed, Trudy took time to visit with each person. And, yes, it was emotional, but that’s to be expected. We care deeply.

Sylvia had spent many hours lovingly creating a slide show that showcased the important areas of Trudy’s life. To everyone’s delight, it ran constantly throughout both afternoons.

Sunday morning, friend Chelli, who had driven in from Arizona the afternoon before, rose with a mission in mind. Her early morning shopping trip resulted in a bountiful array of scrapbooking materials and a small photo printer.  As people arrived at the house later that day, she took pictures of them with Trudy. The guests then created a scrapbook page that displayed the photo and their message for Trudy. Participating in this way initiated a wonderful memory for each one of us while creating the epitome of a memory book for Trudy and Sylvia.

An Awake Party. Not a wake. That’s what Trudy wanted. It gave us a chance to pay our respects to her and to let her know how important she is to us, how much we love her. It’s a priceless gift each of us can hold in our hearts, a gift for which I am beyond grateful.

~ xoA

Sister Time

There’s nothing like a sister. Try three sets of sisters. Three sets of sisters who relish their time together. That’s the happy occasion when the Cassells, Calhoun, and McDole women get together for Sister Time during the week of Relay for Life.

My sister Reenié flies in from Detroit. Judy’s sister Jan comes in from Reno.  Then, my two daughters Amina, from Los Angeles, and Asila, from North Carolina, round out the sextet. 

The Sensational Six: Reenie, me, Amina, Judy, Asila, and Jan

Originally, the Relay was our reason for gathering. Now, in addition, we rendezvous because we enjoy each others’ company and want to have quality time together. Over the years, we’ve instituted several traditions. Some have been set aside as we attempt to honor and support each others’ health needs.

A few traditions have remained constant from the beginning. Somewhere in our schedule, we must fit in a trip to Lamont for dinner at El Pueblo, our favorite Mexican restaurant. Most of us order their signature shrimp dish, Cancun, but a few branch out and try other delights. 

‘ Treats’ is  of another enduring tradition. In a ceremonial atmosphere, each sister receives small gifts from all the others. After this year’s fun-filled exchange, we all agreed that this practice is so neat because these little gifts are sought out with each person in mind and presented with love. 

The most wonderful aspect of Sister Time is reconnecting. We take time out of our busy lives to be present in the circle of sisterhood. We catch up with each other in real conversations, face-to-face. We reaffirm our bonds and spread the love. 

There’s nothing like a sister, but there’s really nothing like spending quality time together. We can’t wait until next year. 

~ xoA

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Lovin' Libraries

 

It's National Library Week. Some of my most fond memories are of my school days when friends Saundra and Patricia and I made our weekly trek to the public Library in Detroit. We would leave straight from Marcy School, each of us with a minimum of four or five books tucked under our arms, and the adventure would begin. It seemed like a long distance that we covered, but it went by quickly as we talked a blue streak while we moved with purpose. 

In the warm months, we stopped by Eagle Brand Dairy to get milkshakes or ice cream. During the winter, we’d alternate walking a block and running a block so we could warm up. If one of us forgot her gloves, another would share a pair, wearing one on the hand that held the books and jamming the other in winter coat pockets. For those few hours a week, we were independent young women, making our way in the world.

The Library has been a hallowed place for me. I remember anticipating joining our school’s Girl Scout troop as a sixth grader. I’d been on a waiting list for a long time and finally got the call to attend a meeting in the school Library. I got there early and found a seat at one of those big wooden library tables. The Girl Scouts began to trickle in. Some sat down and waited quietly. Too many entered the library wildly, running in, screeching, crawling under tables and chasing each other, fending off with chairs like a lion tamer.  I observed this for awhile and made a judgment call. Getting up from the table and pushing my chair under, I walked out that door, never to become a Scout. I wanted no part of a group that didn’t know how to act in the Library!

Even with technology and information at my fingertips, the Library is still my go-to place. I love the energy of people searching, seeking, reading, and studying. The owner of  neither a Kindle, Nook, or iPad, I relish the feel and smell of a book, page after page.

These days, when I have time between appointments, but too little to return home, I’ll often wander into the Library. Sometimes I find a spot where I can spend a few moments working on a project; sometimes I just browse among the stacks or sit and read or soak up the atmosphere

When the library's closed, the desolate parking lot looks abandoned. But, when driving past a nearby branch of the Kern County Library on the days it's open, I notice the cars crammed into all the parking spaces, the people lined up outside the doors. Once inside, I see folks at computers, hanging in the stacks, studying in the carels and at tables, and camped in the conference rooms. These days, the Library is open only four days a week.So on the days it is open, all resources are strained to the max. Budget cuts, you know. 

I guess we can thank our lucky stars that our last strongholds of knowledge and refuge remain viable. But one thing I know for sure: Libraries, places of discovery and solace, have made a huge difference in my life. I urge you to celebrate National Library Week by merely showing up at your local library. It may take you back and bring forth the memories.

~ xoA